not home

Its been 2 nights and im already missing like crazy. Its funny how you can become so accustom to having someone with you pretty much 24/7 and then to have them not there for even a few nights seems so wrong.
My inbox is filled with the cutest messages I think I have ever received, all from him. I'm looking forward to seeing him rather than actually going home where my head is going to explode from all the shit that's going on in my home. mum being sick is probably the worst thing that's ever happened, who's going to look after me now that she's sick? I try so hard but I can't not think what things would be like if the worst happened, but I kind of have to take it into consideration at this point. I'm so scared like you don't believe, and apart from me thinking about her all the time, I have the friggen hsc coming up. He makes me forget about all this shit going on, my handful of loveys are there for that job too. I need you guys more than anything. And what upsets me the most is I'm not making time for anyone anymore. He doesn't realize how much he distracts me and keeps me sane, and my girlies being there to tell me it will be okay.
I don't want to move to Melbourne, I'm so scared. I don't want to start over and I can't leave them behind.

On a lighter note, my current background music is screaming and guns shooting and zombies vomiting.
im sitting in my cousins room with 4 other people while they play some extremly violent xbox game full of zombies and black people killing these dead baby things tht actually end up ripping their legs off and somehow turn into a bomb that kills everyone, and they are all soo zoned in on it, screaming at their character thinking its actually going to make them run faster.
I feel so left out right now its not funny, wtf does pwnd mean? ahaha.