thursday

today was good, i ruined last night with over analysing everything but today was good. i'm so happy yet i still find it hard to let mysef be happy. it's like im not allowed to be, which sucks, because its the best feeling ever.

i got a new dress today for next thursday, i likee i likeee :)

today i also had my biology exam, i think i went pretty well seeing as i walked out with an hour left to go, i double checked everything and it was so good being able to answer everything, i just hope its not like the time i think i went really really well in an exam and turs out i got the shittest mark i have ever gotten haha.



stewie and lisa gave me two buddahs today to add to my collection :)

.

i hate this being an invisible thing, i hate not being able to talk about this.
i feel like i cant even say this name. i wish things where different.

future

in just over a months time its going to be preyyt much a new start.
I will be travellng to bali, along with my bestfriend and a whole heap of others whom i have known forever, no adults, apart from us haha.
We are going to have to do everything for ourselves and make sure we are all okay, considering our parents are 1000 of kilometers away.

The thought of this is so exciting, yet i'm alittle nervous to be honest, i know we will be okay, we have a smart group of kids, but the fact we are in a completly different country, biding by our own rules, its so exciting yet scary at the same time.

moving to forster will be excellent, this time in my life i will have no responsibilitys, no studying, time to take a break from education and live! i'll be living in Diamon Beach for 2 months, travelling back up to Newcastle im guessing once a week to visit my boyfriend and friends.

AND THEN THE BEST PART, feburary 18th, moving into my Kotara town house with my friend Brad, we are going to have the cutest little house and everything excited me, there are definatly going to be some pro's and con's to this, but overal i think i have picked the best roomate and i am so thankful my parents have opened up the opportunity for me to have this place set up for me while i go to uni!
im sooo happy.

wednesday

biology is satans subject.



this reminds me of my mum, i want this for her :)

panda

i love you

somebody's thinking for you

And your accepting what your being spoon fed.
You think you know, you know what they told you
Challenge what they know, and find out for yourself..

so in between being creeped out by my tutor, telling me about him loosing his virgitnity which i did NOT even want to think about, but the way he says these creepy as things so casually and without care scares the shit out of me, ive been friggen adddicted to the mtv show rock of love bus, it is soo corny and the show is filled of sillocine, fake hair, tattoos and bitchness. i cant get enough. brett michaels is so foul.



ive also watched season three of skins, and i am in love with emily haha, she is the biggest babeeeee

.

the feeling of being 110% happy and content with everything going on, is probably the best thing in the whole world.
luck is on my side, and im extremly lucky.
my parents have planned out everything for me, i have a place to move into next year, im going on an amazing holiday at the end of the year, im able to go to uni and do what i really really want to do. im so appreciative of what has been given to me, im doing everything i can to show them how thankful i am.

on another note, tany zangy straps are very sour.

hm

i bought a new bed today :)

wheres the kid with the chemicals?

i dont think i have ever been this stressed, just a constant feeling that will hopefully go away, i need to do well in hsc, not only for my own personal satisfaction, but for mums sake too.

i visited the counciller the other day, and it was the weirdest feeling, i got extremly angry and upset about mums situation and i let everything out onto this woman, and she took it. i felt so good after. she told me i have anxiety, and i can feel what the stress is doing to me, craaazy.

im looking forward to so many things, 11th of november friggen hurry up i need you, i cant wait to wake up on the 12th knowing that everything is done, never to have have to read another biology text book or study language teciques.

mm happy guys, im happy.

:)

i am so happy, so happy with everything. for once things are running smoothly and ive never been so content, i have the most amazing boyfriend ever, and i dont want another lover, as well as my wonderful bestfriend whom ive missed alot. these two are my favourites!

the first day of my life.

havent posted in SO long, honestly ive just been too busy bludging.
so im finally at the place ive been wishing for soo long, out of school.
feels kinda weird, alittle upsetting that i wont see the five people who actualy made school enjoyable for me the last few years every single day. i love those girls more than anything.

im so content with everything at the moment, no school and no rules, few months till i move out, go to bali etc, my boyfriend is happy and that makes me so much happier. things are finally running smoothly, apart from one small hiccup. but oh well i honestly am to happy and have other things to worry about other than your petty complaints, get over it haha.

i miss my nigger buns, more than anything. ive been soso lazy and slack ive been missing out on my best friend. sunday is going to be excellent, chilling, slushies and cheesy mtv programmes ill 1am in the morning.

im so happy soo happy right now, everyone come and soak up my happiness cause i have alot to give.